Ego: friend or foe?

We are driven by many needs;  Of course Maslow's heirarchy of needs says we need food, oxygen, shelter and to procreate (more true for some than others!).

But I find most of us are driven by another need;  to be recognized, valued, appreciated and seen!  Ego is in all of us.  There are experts that say the ego is a necessary and important part of us.  Freud and other pshychiatrists might have another take.

I believe ego is a part of our daily life;  in the decisions we make, what motivates us and how we make life choices. It can be very powerful, overt and overwhelming.  It can also be suttle and more active in our subconcious.  Regardless, I think it's important to recognize our ego and listen to what we are hearing.

My most common experience is in a workplace.  Many of us only feel we have something truly special because of our job or our skills.  It's unfortunate as all of us are equally valuable just for exsisting!  What I see is "type A" people who put most of their effort into work;  we are there at least 8 hours a day...these are our families to some extent.  We feel good when we do a good job and crappy when we don't.

For me, the best advice I have and what has really shifted me out of putting all my eggs in my work basket is;  telling myself that this job would function with or without me.  I might be the "go to" person and really like that I am.  But if I were to leave, another person would fulfill this role.  I constantly remind myself that if I'm not there, the place isn't going to crumble!  If you find you like that people need to call you when you are off and things are challenging when you aren't there, ask yourself if you are perpetuating this?

My experience tells me that even when people say they "wish" they weren't so needed, they've actually set themselves up.  They tell clients..."talk to me when you call"...or "I'll fix the issue, just ask for me".  When people do this, they are making sure that other people can't step in and handle the work.

I believe in our country we do not have work-life balance.  We tend to put everything into work and forget about self care and hobbies.  Honestly, how many of us have "non striving" hobbies!  Things we do for fun!   An attribute of mindful care is being non- striving (without an end result).   Something to keep in mind.

We are driven by ego.  I think it's important to recognize when ego is over-taking our lives. Some would say our ego protects us.  I'm sure it serves a purpose.  But i don't want to base all my choices in life around it.  It's very primative....unrefined.  We need to make concious choices.  I choose not to be driven by ego.  I know I'm valuable regardless of the praise I get through work, partners, friends or society.

A nice quote to ponder by Eckhart Tolle.

Nameste