Non-Striving

For some - myself included - the idea of being "non-striving" is somewhat foreign!

I know that I enjoy colouring mandala's because they are relaxing, decrease anxiety and are a nice way to be in the moment and practice mindfulness.  However, when colouring that mandala becomes: how to make it look better, needing to get it completed, being annoyed with colouring outside the lines....and even for me....wanting to make a giant collage with them......all these are....STRIVING!

A way I look at is perhaps not having a goal?  Not needing to be perfect, and just doing something for the sake of doing it.  Not focusing on what the end result will be or how that will make you feel. Try NOT finishing something.  It's interesting to observe what feelings arise.  

Although adult colouring books get flack, it really is an excellent way to stay present, in the moment and be mindful.  Mandala's are great because you choose to either start from the inside and colour towards the outside or vise versa.   In sanskrit, Mandala means circle. They are a symbol that represents the universe.  In various spiritual traditions, mandalas can be used for focusing attention, as a spiritual guidance tool, for establishing a sacred space and as an aid to meditation  (paraphrased from wikipedia).

Namaste

What's Your Problem?

I'm not sure about others, but I tend to focus on what my problems are!  I've mentioned before trying to stay away from the question WHY?  Why am I so emotional?  Why can't I just accept this loss?  What is my problem!

Some investigation is helpful, of course.  If I'm constantly disappointed by people or events, perhaps I can look at my expectations....and not having them!  I find they always get me into trouble.  There is plenty of room for improvement in all of us. However it can be a slippery slope, easily morphing into judgement and criticism.  The last stage is narrowly focusing on the issue or problems you have.  This is called....resisting (obsessing, worrying, ruminating etc.)

Trying to rid yourself of unwanted thoughts and feelings can be summed up as resistance.  I believe this is based in fear.  When that happens, things persist.  What we resist, persists. 

Acceptance is the antidote.  Accept your crappy, judging thoughts and emotions for what they are...passing, human and natural.  Move on.  Don't give them power. Make changes;  improvements where you can.  But be kind to yourself. Constant critique and evaluation only adds stress.  Get back to the present moment.  Take a breath.  Make a mindfulness jar!   I just read about it at http://mindfulnessjar.com/mind-calming-glitter-jar/

We all have problems.  Some will be there tomorrow or in 5 minutes.  But right now, all can be well.  In this moment. 

Nameste

Appreciating the present moment

"Can you rest in ... awareness, even for one breath, or even one in-breath, before reacting to try to escape or make things different?"
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness for Beginners.

I think it's important to realize with mindfulness, you can start very small....with individual breaths or minutes.  It can be easily done on my 6 minute bus ride to work....

What can I do in 6 minutes?  Lets discuss!  What I DON'T want to do is worry about if I'll be on time, what my day will be like or regretting that I didn't appreciate my holiday time off!

What I CAN do is just be....in the moment.  I can pay attention to my breathing.  I can do a body scan and be aware of how my body is feeling...and not judge it.  Most days I find I just look and listen.  Today I noticed a hotel I never have before.  I look at houses and decor, landscaping, cars....anything.  I am aware that I am not judging them or making up stories....I'm just noticing...on purpose.   

I also like listening....to sounds, the trance-like noises of the bus, the sound of the heat blowing, or whatever is present at the time.  I consider this meditating.  When I'm not worrying about future events, being a story teller in my head or focusing on things in the past, I am truly quite content. 

I believe I have worked at being able to do this for years.  And while you can practice being mindful in a second or minute, I have done formal practice (sitting or lying down for a prescribed amount of time) and I think it has allowed me to be able to appreciate the present moment. 

Most people are striving for peace.  The irony is that it can be found in this exact moment!

Non-judging

“Being mindful means that we suspend judgment for a time, set aside our immediate goals for the future, and take in the present moment as it is rather than as we would like it to be.”
Mark Williams, The Mindful Way through Depression

For me, trying not to judge - myself, my thoughts and others (if I'm honest) is challenging.  We are all conditioned to some extent to judge ourselves and others;  whether the messages come from our childhood, society, peers or something innately in us.  I've always heard it is "natural" or human for us to judge others.  

I have often scolded myself for having judging thoughts;  ironically I am judging my thoughts!  With mindfulness, the beauty and challenge might be to - even if it's just for a few moments - not judge.  

I believe we can change how we think.  However, if I am critical of my thoughts, they gain more power.  If I tell you not to think of elephants...what do you think our brains are going to do....think of elephants!  When we resist our thougths (ie. don't think that...that's bad to think that way etc. ) they will persist.  When you don't judge your thoughts....you can just acknowledge and then get back to the present moment.