Stars can't shine without darkness

"Accepting feelings doesn't mean acting on them. It means you don't fight with their existence. You can let them be there while you get on with your day"

Padraig O'Morian

Don't fight;  accept.  So simple but so challenging!  I'm drawn to this concept likely because of two convincing reasons:

1.  When I succeed at accepting and I stop fighting, I am more at peace with myself, my emotions and my experiences. 
2. Just like Mom and Dad told us..."eat your vegetables!  they're good for you!"  I KNOW that acceptance is good for me....so I keep trying.  I load my plate up with broccoli because I want to be ..healthier!

For many people, myself included, I strive for "happiness, peace, contentment".  Of course!  However, having only "pleasant" emotions isn't very realistic, or even always desirable.

I enjoy Canada because I like the changing seasons; when spring rolls around I'm excited.  If I had spring and summer all the time I'm fairly certain I'd take it for granted.  Just like when I go to the cottage and the first day seeing the lake - the sun dancing off the water -the sounds of the boats and warmth of the sun...it's heaven.  On day 5....missing my wifi!  If I lived on the water I would take that for granted too!  I know myself!!

But getting back to one's desire to feel happy, peaceful and contented....if I was always all those things I'm sure they would lose value somehow.  

I need the dark to appreciate light.  I need the negative to see the positive. And so instead of fighting my feelings, it's better for me to accept them...whatever they are.  I don't have to act on them;  I can just let them be.  Because they will change.  

I also don't have to fear them, or strive to change them.  No emotion is "wrong" or "bad". They just "are". 

Nameste

Appreciating the present moment

"Can you rest in ... awareness, even for one breath, or even one in-breath, before reacting to try to escape or make things different?"
Jon Kabat-Zinn, Mindfulness for Beginners.

I think it's important to realize with mindfulness, you can start very small....with individual breaths or minutes.  It can be easily done on my 6 minute bus ride to work....

What can I do in 6 minutes?  Lets discuss!  What I DON'T want to do is worry about if I'll be on time, what my day will be like or regretting that I didn't appreciate my holiday time off!

What I CAN do is just be....in the moment.  I can pay attention to my breathing.  I can do a body scan and be aware of how my body is feeling...and not judge it.  Most days I find I just look and listen.  Today I noticed a hotel I never have before.  I look at houses and decor, landscaping, cars....anything.  I am aware that I am not judging them or making up stories....I'm just noticing...on purpose.   

I also like listening....to sounds, the trance-like noises of the bus, the sound of the heat blowing, or whatever is present at the time.  I consider this meditating.  When I'm not worrying about future events, being a story teller in my head or focusing on things in the past, I am truly quite content. 

I believe I have worked at being able to do this for years.  And while you can practice being mindful in a second or minute, I have done formal practice (sitting or lying down for a prescribed amount of time) and I think it has allowed me to be able to appreciate the present moment. 

Most people are striving for peace.  The irony is that it can be found in this exact moment!

Begonias are the Bomb!

I think part of staying in the present is also appreciating what's right in front of you.  When I'm out on the porch I find myself starting to ruminate about things....this is the nature of anxiety and worry - living in the past or fearing the future.

This year I planted Begonias in my planters.  I just wanted to give a "shout out" to these chill and beautiful flowers!

They are really lovely, easy to care for and it's almost October and they look better than ever!
It's nice to appreciate something simple;  it allows me to pay attention to something outside of myself, find appreciation and gratitude, and serves to keep me in the present moment.

Physical reaction to negative thinking

When I think about things in the past I've done or experienced that cause worry, I can often feel similar to the time it happened - anxiety, fear, remorse.  It may not be to the same extent when the event occurred, but it is still a reaction.  Physiologically, the hormones that are released are lets say..."not good".  They may even be harmful healthwise.

At the time, the response by the body might serve a purpose.  However, re-living it and experiencing the same response serves no purpose.

This phenomenon is similar to worrying about future events.  There is a difference between planning for the future and predicting it.

For me, when I am in the past or the future, I can't be present in the now - in today.  What's more important is that I experience unhelpful thoughts and therefore reactions by my body. It affects anxiety and distracts me from the current day AND the feelings of peace, joy, contentment and safety I experience when I'm truly staying in the present.  My body can produce other hormones or chemicals....better ones....that are helpful to my overall well being.

I am trying to be kind to myself today - mentally and therefore physically.