What do you show people?

What I sometimes struggle with is being overly positive.  I feel this need to look for the good, be grateful and avoid focusing on negative. 

I have struggled emotionally in the past with depression and anxiety.  More specifically in my teens and early 20's I really was quite morose.  My favorite band at the time was The Smiths.  Have you listened to the words?   

Regardless, it took me some time to stop catasrophizing and looking at things with an all or none/black or white view.  Mindfulness has been very helpful  in my growth and me becoming MY better person...happier and more balanced. 

I think mindfulness teaches us to accept, yet to be in discomfort when it happens.  The more we resist things, the more they persist.  Intellectually I know this, but I still try and hide behind the mask I've created for decades.  Happy, positive and outgoing. The glass is half full.  And why?  I somehow feel it's "better" than being negative ...it's how I want to appear to the world.  Who do you want to work with, spend time with or marry? Debbie Downer or Chipper McHappypants? 

When I find my self talk telling me to focus on the good, I do listen;  I don't want to go down the rabbit hole into a dark place.  However, as with many things, once the pendulum swings, it goes a little too far!   When I'm doubting anything, I look to balance and that seems to be the answer. 

I can be sad.  I can be mad.  I can be happy or euphoric.  But any of the "extremes" get me into trouble.  I don't know how authetic it is because it is forced, either way.  I choose to be overly happy or sadly pessimistic.  As I've always said, when you are in a dark place....a low point....sometimes it's easier to let go and fall to the bottom so that you simply can't fall any further. On the flip side, I might be going through a divorce, job loss and illness and to say I'm "fine" and not acknowlege the struggle isn't honest. 

Balance.  It's all about balance.  I hate that my mother was right, yet again , but everything in moderation:) 

Nameste

What we resist, persists...

I love these words;  and yet they can really make you think.  I tried explaining this to a friend the other day and find I struggle with articulating it well.

Originally said by Carl Jung I believe, I think it can be summed up by saying that when we resist things - we are fighting.  When we are fighting anything, the same thing will continue or get worse;  things don't move forward.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance.  One might then conclude, what we accept, resolves.  The struggle is gone and we are left with more peace and calm. 

Fighting or resisting can be anything...a feeling...a thought...a situation...something that we simply can't let go of.  I might refuse to accept the loss of a relationship.  The more I fight this reality, the harder it becomes to find peace.  If you find yourself in your head replaying situations and telling yourself over and over that it isn't fair or right....what you really might be trying to do is re-write the past which isn't possible.    When we stop fighting....aka....stop trying to argue why it was wrong....and just accept it as something that happened we might be able to move on a little more easily. 

Simply, ask yourself "What are you not accepting"?  I believe we are happier and more at peace accepting things insteading of fighting them. 

What we resist....persists.  

Nameste

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-van-rossum/moving-forward_b_1700246.html

Working out isn't just for the body....

“Each time you bring yourself back to the breath is a moment of training. This is how the heart and mind learn to move from a stage of habitual and reactive distraction to one that’s more responsive, creative, and aware.“ Vidyamala Burch

It is interesting what I will accept;  If want to get in shape - train for a 5 mile run - I will simply have to do the work! 

Why is peace of mind, mental and emotional health any different?  Do I think I'll will my way into a happier state of being?  Do I just decide not to have anxiety anymore? 

Of course not!  It's work.  Very simple.  I am in training!  Just because I don't gain weight or start getting winded on the stairs doesn't mean I am "fit" mentally. 

Everything worth something requires effort, dedication and faith. Improving myself and dealing with my own issues has been the hardest work I will ever do!  

Just like with physical health, there is continued maintenance required. 

Meditate today!  Journal.  Practice a mindfulness exercise.  These things will keep you sane!  These things will allow you to be free. 

Nameste 

Resentments

Resentments keep us in the past, a past that can never be relived. Resentments keep a stranglehold on our mind. They keep us from appreciating the beauty of a moment. 

Quote by Karen Casey

What if "NOW" isn't good?

"It's hard to reflect on your circumstances and to learn new ways of responding if the mind roams like a wild animal. So the first step is to tame it through ... paying attention to one thing at a time ..."
~ Vidyamala Burch, Living Well with Pain and Illness

I read this quote today and something stood out;  "new ways of responding".  I was chatting with a good friend and we were talking about what happens when the present moment isn't all that good!  For example, if I'm sad or in pain....it's hard to focus on that.

I think a few things might be good for me to remember in these situations.  If I'm in pain (have bilateral plantar faciitis right now), there may be a difference between paying attention and acknowledging.

I can acknowledge the pain, but perhaps look at other things in the present (for example looking at the nature around me, just paying attention to my breath, having people in my life that support and love me).  

The other part of it is being non-judgmental.  I can quickly become angry at my body, my situation and circumstances and start telling myself negative things.  When things like "fair" become a central focus, I'm being quite judgmental of my emotions and feelings.  

Lastly, I am trying to work on letting go of labels.  Emotions don't have to be labelled as good or bad, right or wrong.  They just are.  And reminding myself that they will change just as the hours in the day always do, this might help get through some challenging times while staying in the present moment.

Enjoying the moment of NOW

"Try practicing 'peace from mind' rather than 'peace of mind'. When your mind pulls you into dramas and endless comments, silently say 'later' and return to awareness of the moment."