Just For Today....

When I find myself thinking too far into the future, I tend to get anxious...worried or fearful. When I remind myself to stay in today, things are a lot more manageable.

Finding the moments in each day to listen to my self talk,  reminding myself to be a little more quiet will often make a big difference in how I'm feeling.

If I can try to have LESS - judging, predictions, reactions and expectations - I am more centered and peaceful.

If I can try to fight LESS - my thougths, feelings and ideas of fairness or right and wrong - I am more loving and kind to myself and the world around me.

Nameste

RAIN

Just wanted to share -from Tara Brach: RAIN

Recognize what is going on;
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is;
Investigate with kindness;
Natural awareness, which comes from not identifying
with the experience.

Thank goodness for mindfulness!!  

What do you show people?

What I sometimes struggle with is being overly positive.  I feel this need to look for the good, be grateful and avoid focusing on negative. 

I have struggled emotionally in the past with depression and anxiety.  More specifically in my teens and early 20's I really was quite morose.  My favorite band at the time was The Smiths.  Have you listened to the words?   

Regardless, it took me some time to stop catasrophizing and looking at things with an all or none/black or white view.  Mindfulness has been very helpful  in my growth and me becoming MY better person...happier and more balanced. 

I think mindfulness teaches us to accept, yet to be in discomfort when it happens.  The more we resist things, the more they persist.  Intellectually I know this, but I still try and hide behind the mask I've created for decades.  Happy, positive and outgoing. The glass is half full.  And why?  I somehow feel it's "better" than being negative ...it's how I want to appear to the world.  Who do you want to work with, spend time with or marry? Debbie Downer or Chipper McHappypants? 

When I find my self talk telling me to focus on the good, I do listen;  I don't want to go down the rabbit hole into a dark place.  However, as with many things, once the pendulum swings, it goes a little too far!   When I'm doubting anything, I look to balance and that seems to be the answer. 

I can be sad.  I can be mad.  I can be happy or euphoric.  But any of the "extremes" get me into trouble.  I don't know how authetic it is because it is forced, either way.  I choose to be overly happy or sadly pessimistic.  As I've always said, when you are in a dark place....a low point....sometimes it's easier to let go and fall to the bottom so that you simply can't fall any further. On the flip side, I might be going through a divorce, job loss and illness and to say I'm "fine" and not acknowlege the struggle isn't honest. 

Balance.  It's all about balance.  I hate that my mother was right, yet again , but everything in moderation:) 

Nameste

Ego: friend or foe?

We are driven by many needs;  Of course Maslow's heirarchy of needs says we need food, oxygen, shelter and to procreate (more true for some than others!).

But I find most of us are driven by another need;  to be recognized, valued, appreciated and seen!  Ego is in all of us.  There are experts that say the ego is a necessary and important part of us.  Freud and other pshychiatrists might have another take.

I believe ego is a part of our daily life;  in the decisions we make, what motivates us and how we make life choices. It can be very powerful, overt and overwhelming.  It can also be suttle and more active in our subconcious.  Regardless, I think it's important to recognize our ego and listen to what we are hearing.

My most common experience is in a workplace.  Many of us only feel we have something truly special because of our job or our skills.  It's unfortunate as all of us are equally valuable just for exsisting!  What I see is "type A" people who put most of their effort into work;  we are there at least 8 hours a day...these are our families to some extent.  We feel good when we do a good job and crappy when we don't.

For me, the best advice I have and what has really shifted me out of putting all my eggs in my work basket is;  telling myself that this job would function with or without me.  I might be the "go to" person and really like that I am.  But if I were to leave, another person would fulfill this role.  I constantly remind myself that if I'm not there, the place isn't going to crumble!  If you find you like that people need to call you when you are off and things are challenging when you aren't there, ask yourself if you are perpetuating this?

My experience tells me that even when people say they "wish" they weren't so needed, they've actually set themselves up.  They tell clients..."talk to me when you call"...or "I'll fix the issue, just ask for me".  When people do this, they are making sure that other people can't step in and handle the work.

I believe in our country we do not have work-life balance.  We tend to put everything into work and forget about self care and hobbies.  Honestly, how many of us have "non striving" hobbies!  Things we do for fun!   An attribute of mindful care is being non- striving (without an end result).   Something to keep in mind.

We are driven by ego.  I think it's important to recognize when ego is over-taking our lives. Some would say our ego protects us.  I'm sure it serves a purpose.  But i don't want to base all my choices in life around it.  It's very primative....unrefined.  We need to make concious choices.  I choose not to be driven by ego.  I know I'm valuable regardless of the praise I get through work, partners, friends or society.

A nice quote to ponder by Eckhart Tolle.

Nameste

What we resist, persists...

I love these words;  and yet they can really make you think.  I tried explaining this to a friend the other day and find I struggle with articulating it well.

Originally said by Carl Jung I believe, I think it can be summed up by saying that when we resist things - we are fighting.  When we are fighting anything, the same thing will continue or get worse;  things don't move forward.

The opposite of resistance is acceptance.  One might then conclude, what we accept, resolves.  The struggle is gone and we are left with more peace and calm. 

Fighting or resisting can be anything...a feeling...a thought...a situation...something that we simply can't let go of.  I might refuse to accept the loss of a relationship.  The more I fight this reality, the harder it becomes to find peace.  If you find yourself in your head replaying situations and telling yourself over and over that it isn't fair or right....what you really might be trying to do is re-write the past which isn't possible.    When we stop fighting....aka....stop trying to argue why it was wrong....and just accept it as something that happened we might be able to move on a little more easily. 

Simply, ask yourself "What are you not accepting"?  I believe we are happier and more at peace accepting things insteading of fighting them. 

What we resist....persists.  

Nameste

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-van-rossum/moving-forward_b_1700246.html

Two Sides....

It’s funny how the same situation can be looked at in two very different ways…isn’t it?  If you are sick with the flu, you can focus on the discomfort, annoyance and frustration that your life is put on hold for a few days.  At the same time, perhaps your body is forcing you to take a break?  You could also see that it might help you appreciate when you are well, and even give you some compassion for others that struggle more than yourself.

Most situations can be viewed  from opposite spectrums.  Things can be so bad – so uncertain and challenging – OR they can be positve because perhaps there is growth and learning that is happening… and maybe necessary change.

The funny thing is that both scenarios are just our minds at work.  The truth of it is that there is no good or bad really.  It just is.  I don’t have to worry about the past or future or try and make lemonade out of lemons.  I can just sit with knowing I’m where I’m supposed to be and things will turn out as they should.

Of course being positive is something I strive for; I do subscribe to the self fulfilling prophecy. So yes, if I have to have thougths…predictions and chatter…I will try and see the positive, hope for the best and contribute to my destiny.  But I also can’t forget who is in charge… not me!  I can’t predict the future.   I have no idea what will happen.  But I know right now – things are OK.

To anyone struggling –  don’t assume the worst.  Just accept the present, be honest and challenge your thoughts.  When we say ” life sucks”  we have to rectify that immediately.  The first step is hearing it.  The next is being honest;  what are the facts.  What is the truth.  How can we stop making judgements?  Life doesn’t suck.  There might be pain or uncertainty but it doesn’t warrent a blanket statement like that.  Hear what you are telling yourself and just…correct it or at least make an attempt to:)

Nameste

Nature Nutures!

As a person working in veterinary medicine,  I am blessed daily with interacting with animals.  Of course I have my own menagerie of animals at home!

I watch the squirrels daily.  I have an outdoor/stray cat I enjoy watching as well.

I can honestly say I learn....and re-learn things all the time.  Squirrels might not be the sharpest knives in the drawer in terms of intelligence....but really who am I to say?

Regardless, I see them play regularly.  Sometimes with each other, often times on their own.  It's entertaining and remarkable to watch!  They don't need a therapist to tell them that play is an important part of life.

How many of us put "play" or recreation on the back burner...to make money...go to work or do what we "think" we should be doing?  How many of us really value play and fun in our weekly schedule?

Take time to play.  Have fun.  It's more important than we might think it is!

Nameste