Pain vs Suffering

"… we can distinguish between the normal pain of life – difficult emotions, physical discomfort, and so on – and actual suffering, which is the mental anguish caused by fighting against the fact that life is sometimes painful." Kristin Neff, Self Compassion

We will have pain and discomfort.  However there is always some control in the amount of thinking we give these states.  We can choose NOT to suffer.  

Nameste

Working out isn't just for the body....

“Each time you bring yourself back to the breath is a moment of training. This is how the heart and mind learn to move from a stage of habitual and reactive distraction to one that’s more responsive, creative, and aware.“ Vidyamala Burch

It is interesting what I will accept;  If want to get in shape - train for a 5 mile run - I will simply have to do the work! 

Why is peace of mind, mental and emotional health any different?  Do I think I'll will my way into a happier state of being?  Do I just decide not to have anxiety anymore? 

Of course not!  It's work.  Very simple.  I am in training!  Just because I don't gain weight or start getting winded on the stairs doesn't mean I am "fit" mentally. 

Everything worth something requires effort, dedication and faith. Improving myself and dealing with my own issues has been the hardest work I will ever do!  

Just like with physical health, there is continued maintenance required. 

Meditate today!  Journal.  Practice a mindfulness exercise.  These things will keep you sane!  These things will allow you to be free. 

Nameste 

What are you thinking about?

The mind is a crazy and dangerous thing!  Thoughts become things.  Thoughts direct our behavior...and worst of all...thoughts affect our state of being...aka  our emotions!

Do we really spend enough time thinking about our thoughts?  An oxymoron perhaps.  

What are we telling ourselves each minute, each hour...each day?  Are we saying we aren't pretty enough?  Smart enough?  Are we normal?   Do we question essentially every choice we have made?  I do.  And of course I do!  Life is full of uncertainty.  

The beauty is that at any given point...any second...we have the ability to stop thinking and start observing.  Everyone benefits when we turn off our thoughts...even for a moment. 

I might be ON my way to work...worrying ABOUT work...thinking bad things about myself or where I'm at.  And at that precise moment I can choose....to stop thinking about those things that I have no control over...that won't benefit me or others. 

I choose to make a gratitude list.   I think of all the things I'm grateful for...from my home to my hearing...from my animals to the fact I can think and speak.  I have a roof over my head, food to eat and loving people in my life....it's pretty great when you break it down. 

Stop thinking if thinking hurts!  it does little good for most of us;   we don't think original thoughts.  We think in patterns...we think in habit. We hurt ourselves more with our thoughts than any war, recession or ex-lover could. 

Take a break from thinking;  start feeling...being...existing. 

We can always decide not to think...even just for one moment.

Nameste

Stars can't shine without darkness

"Accepting feelings doesn't mean acting on them. It means you don't fight with their existence. You can let them be there while you get on with your day"

Padraig O'Morian

Don't fight;  accept.  So simple but so challenging!  I'm drawn to this concept likely because of two convincing reasons:

1.  When I succeed at accepting and I stop fighting, I am more at peace with myself, my emotions and my experiences. 
2. Just like Mom and Dad told us..."eat your vegetables!  they're good for you!"  I KNOW that acceptance is good for me....so I keep trying.  I load my plate up with broccoli because I want to be ..healthier!

For many people, myself included, I strive for "happiness, peace, contentment".  Of course!  However, having only "pleasant" emotions isn't very realistic, or even always desirable.

I enjoy Canada because I like the changing seasons; when spring rolls around I'm excited.  If I had spring and summer all the time I'm fairly certain I'd take it for granted.  Just like when I go to the cottage and the first day seeing the lake - the sun dancing off the water -the sounds of the boats and warmth of the sun...it's heaven.  On day 5....missing my wifi!  If I lived on the water I would take that for granted too!  I know myself!!

But getting back to one's desire to feel happy, peaceful and contented....if I was always all those things I'm sure they would lose value somehow.  

I need the dark to appreciate light.  I need the negative to see the positive. And so instead of fighting my feelings, it's better for me to accept them...whatever they are.  I don't have to act on them;  I can just let them be.  Because they will change.  

I also don't have to fear them, or strive to change them.  No emotion is "wrong" or "bad". They just "are". 

Nameste

A thought is not an instruction

A thought is not an instruction. Recall this phrase when your mind tells you that you "must" do this or you "should" do that.

By:  Padriag O'Morian

I find this concept very valuable.  Sometimes we are on auto pilot.  And a thought CAN feel more like an instruction - especially when it comes to changing our behaviors or how we perceive ourselves. 

I've heard the saying  "don't should all over yourself".  It's not productive and can negatively influence one's self esteem.  Being gentle and kind to yourself teaches us to do the same for others. 

Nameste

Doubt

"Doubt is an uncomfortable condition, but certainty is a ridiculous one" (Voltaire).  Let's spend more time in the now, where we live, and less in a fictional future in our head.

By: Padraig O'Morain

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

 I have this sticky note up beside my desk;  FEAR:  false evidence appearing real. 

I think I wrote this because so many emotions can be traced back to fear.

When anyone experiences fear - it is usually because of an outcome or possibility that they have no control over....of course...what they fear will happen. 

I could list hundreds of examples.  The point is that when you look at what you are afraid of...that could be anxiety or just generalized worry...it could be a drop dead fear of flying or large snakes - whatever it is....one can always argue - it hasn't happened yet. 

And why do we worry about things that have not occurred?  Of course we are trying to protect ourselves from uneccesary pain.  Makes sense.  However we start playing the "what if" game.  

When we enter into a conversation of "what if" with ourselves, we just have to say STOP!
What if I die tomorrow.  What if I loose my job.  What if Jim-bo leaves me?  Not worth thinking about!

The only way anyone can deal with all of this is by staying in the now.  Nothing is happening  right now.    And we can stay HERE.  

Fear is not real.  This moment is.

Nameste